Who is Mom I Am?

There is a lot to say and not enough time to say it all. A lot to do and yet again... tick-tock, the minutes are rushing by. Hello fellow Mommas! You know all too well what I'm talking about, yes? Don't you find that throughout all the rushed days and our hurried lives there are still plenty of moments when time trickles by so slowly? Like standing in a slow moving river. Toes spread in mud and grounded, cool water embracing your calves, gently caressing and moving past.

This is how I feel about so many moments with my son, Sidekick. Those slow moments when I beg inwardly, "Don't let me forget this. Oh please remember the light coming through the window and breaking like sunset on his halo of golden hair. This hug he gave me out of the blue. The way his hands trace my face as he drifts off to dreamland, the concentrated face he makes while reading, the way he coos Daaaaaaaady when sees him come in the door."

Before becoming a Mother I had no idea the daily emotional courage it takes to be a parent. Coupled with the "in this day and age" syndrome of worry, the "vigilance" I was required to amass each day against all the scary what-ifs, even just the barrage we wage on ourselves of "am I doing enough? am I doing the best I can for my child?" I so completely embraced all the baby books in the beginning, the sense that I could take in enough information to have a Mommy life-preserver of sorts. As a society I've now watched it play out for myself and so many other new Moms. Learn, learn, learn how to be a parent.

Now I would say, yes, there is a great deal we can benefit in studying where our children's toys are made and of what. Looking closely at nutritional choices for our children, to nurse or formula feed and after that where are we getting our produce from. Researching lifestyle choices: what's the better benefit, live frugally? Perhaps give up quite a lot of comforts we enjoyed pre-babe so that Mom can stay home? Both parents work to not only generate income but so that Mom doesn't loose out on her position and prestige in the workplace? Vaccinate your child? Discipline? Homeschooling? Co-sleep? Ferberize? There is so much information for our generation to digest. So much that instigates debate now. That can leave you throwing your arms up in surrender... why, it's enough to give me heartburn post pregnancy.

Now I've finally settled into being me as a Mom. It's like running shoes when they finally get broken in. I can say for me now it's more about instinct than outside knowledge. Again though, there is a lot happening in the great wide world that makes it to our doorstep and some of it we must welcome into our home and give a seat at the dinner table as choices we've hand-picked for our family. Others we must say "no solicitation!" to and slam the door on.

I hope to share my own experiences of balancing my internal, instinctual dialogue with that of the 21st century parenting model. I hope to hear your thoughts and feelings. Truly hear YOU... as a Mom and all that embodies. I won't stray from touchy subjects, I will give balanced information, but I will also unabashedly share my true opinions. If there is one thing I can say about continued exploration and discussion regarding current parenting issues today, topics big and small, the companies and products that we purchase and bring into our homes, is that I believe it's a worthwhile exploration. This is the greatest journey I've ever embarked on ladies and I know you will all agree... One helluva ride so far!



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