This has been a long time coming. I was born with one last name. The relationship with my "biological contributor" as I like to call him was less than a fairy tale to say the least. My mother remarried when I was 8 years old and this man has been who I have always considered to be my Daddy. He raised my brother and I like we were his. He is loving and kind and has all my respect in the world. I took his last name when I was 16 and I'll never forget surprising him with showing him my new social security card and driver's license. I am actually the only one that shares it with him. My mother retained the new name she chose after divorcing my BC, my brother was unable to change his birth name. Myself, there was nothing I hated more than my last name. It was such a gift to honor my father by taking the last name Treap. I have proudly been Kate Treap as long as I like to remember.
My own relationship with my husband brought forth many talks about my own personal identity change over the years. The fight to always be Kate M.L. Treap. As we moved forward talking about our own marriage I knew I did not want to lose this declaration of love I had made for my father all those years ago. I remained Treap.
When we were pregnant with Sidekick I knew that not only did I want to give them part of my heritage, a second middle name, that would be Mommy's last name, but that I finally wanted to change my last name also. I wanted a name that honored my past, my family, my heritage, especially the women that have come before me. That last name is Ogden. My great-grandmother's maiden name. There are so many stories I have heard about this woman and through genealogy I have come to feel a deep connection with those from her history long gone.
Therefore both our son's second middle name is Ogden (I already have two middle names). However, with the children's insurance, with Pell Grants for my own schooling, for millions of paperwork reasons, I've delayed changing my own last name to limit the mistakes and confusion.
I am currently in the process of legally changing my last name now and am excited to make the announcement to all my friends and family when it all gets processed. This is, by far, is the most paperwork laden process I've ever experienced. That a woman wants to change her last name, not in conjunction with a man, is crazy to everyone I'm dealing with. Such random things as my certified copy of my birth certificate being too old. "It's over 30 years old!" she explained... Yeah, makes sense, so am I! Well anyway, I need to draft a whole big story about it when I announce it to my friends.
I am really excited. Part of me is really sad too. Saying goodbye to Treap is hard. I will be happy though, just like their father is, to have my heritage represented and carried equally with my children. I feel blessed to really have thought about, considered, and taken action to be able to craft my own representation to the outside world based on what is important to me. Most people don't think so much about the name given to them, most people would never consider altering it themselves unless for traditional reasons like marriage. This change feels necessary and natural to me as one raised to take charge and do anything and everything I want and I feel are in keeping with making myself happy.
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